Negotiation Myths

Every day we negotiate. Some negotiations are simple ones, like getting your kids to brush their teeth in the morning and get ready for school. Some are more complex, like getting your husband to take out the trash or purchasing complex semiconductor wafer manufacturing equipment and achieving 20% price reduction while getting an extra year of warranty and free repair parts and calibration.  Some negotiations you have all the leverage and others you feel like you’d take any deal that your counterpart would offer.  In all of these cases, you want something that your counterpart has or you want them to do something for you. Or as negotiation is defined as, “an interpersonal decision-making process by which two or more people agree how to allocate scarce resources.”

Allocating scarce resources is hard work and can make a huge difference in your personal life or the profit and loss of your company. With such a major impact to us, do we trust ourselves to negotiate the best deal and achieve the outcomes necessary, or do we just “wing-it?”  How do we prepare ourselves to negotiate those scarce resources?  One way to prepare is to be aware of common negotiation myths, how to avoid them and counteract them

1.       Preparation is a ‘nice to have’. Absolutely not!  Preparation is the key to any successful negotiation.  Many negotiators view negotiations in the ‘fixed-pie perception’ (Bazerman and Neale 1983; Thompson and Hastie 1990), which is a faulty view and nearly 80% operate under this perception. This view is when the negotiator views only those ‘slices’ of the pie as feasible negotiation topics instead of creating value and expanding the pie by adding ‘slices’ and elements to the negotiation. If both parties in a negotiation are viewing the scenario with a fixed pie perception, then the only way to divide up that pie is to trade off the elements on the table. A value creating negotiator will focus on opening the pie and finding more and more elements to work together with your counterpart to gain value for both sides. By taking time in the preparation phase of a negotiation, you can complete research, do audits, interview the marketplace and find pie expanding elements to create value. If you don’t prepare and focus in this area, you’ll end up fighting and attacking at the table to divide up those scarce ‘slices’ of the pie.

2.      Great negotiators are born.  This simply isn’t true, the truth is that the best negotiators are built up over years of conceptual learning, experiences and learning from mistakes.  The best and most effective negotiators have years of practical experiences, are knowledgeable about negotiation theory and concept and have received feedback in either positive successful ways or learning from those mistakes made.  The other wonderful thing about experiences in negotiation is that it creates confidence and trust in yourself. Going through difficult discussions, requesting significant concessions, asking the other party for the things you want and pushing the negotiation envelope open is hard and isn’t for everyone, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll get.

Experience isn’t everything though.  As noted in “The Mind and The Heart of the Negotiator” Thompson, 2001, “experience improves our confidence, but not necessarily our accuracy. People with more experience grow more and more confident, but the accuracy of their judgement and the effectiveness of their behavior does not increase in a commensurate fashion. Overconfidence can be dangerous because it may lead people to take unwise risks.”  Knowing that we need to obtain real feedback after a negotiation from either the data from the results or from peer reviews, we need to do a post mortem and learn from what happened, the good and the bad.

3.      Tough negotiators win.  Well, sometimes, but more likely is that well prepared and cordial negotiators get the best results. Recent research conducted by the Black Swan Group has found that knowing the type of person that you are negotiating with can really assist you in knowing how to work together with them. Their research defines different personality types, how to communicate differently with them and how your communication style can counteract with theirs. The Black Swan Group covers this in their “three core Negotiator Conflict Personality Types (NCPT). “Each has ingrained traits, values and reactions, making them unique.”( Heal Strained Relationships: 4 Tactical Empathy™ Techniques for Negotiation Success, Don Fieselman).  This research is very helpful in knowing your counterpart and how to successfully work with them.

4.      Trust your gut in a negotiation.  Certainly, depends on if you had the all you can eat sushi buffet for lunch or if you really want to throw potential negotiation success to the wind.  While it is very helpful to be quick on your feet and be able to do analysis in your head quickly at the negotiation table, trusting your intuition isn’t the best method to achieving success. Many times, in negotiations, the best strategy is to stop and think. A well-timed caucus can be instrumental in the success of your negotiation. Many times, in my career I’ve called a caucus to regroup with my team, to go do some calculations or simply to get fresh air and clear my head for a moment. Being at the negotiation table can be stressful, mentally taxing and frustrating. Taking a moment to slow things down, catch your breath and refocus your mind can do wonders for your mental being and clarity.  If you’ve prepared well, you know the data, you’ve studied your counterpart to know their personality and are mentally clear, you’ll be successful. If you’ve prepared well, you know the data, you’ve studied your counterpart to know their personality and are mentally clear, you’ll be successful.

At negotiationassistance.com, we’ve done the research, completed the training courses and have the practical ‘at the table’ negotiation experiences to help you in your negotiation.  We welcome you to our website for additional information, negotiationassistance.com. Use the ‘Contact Us’ link to sign up for a free consultation call so we can help you with your negotiation and help you Get Your Fair Share ™